Saturday, June 9, 2012

UNDERSTANDING PSYCHO MEDICAL CHALLENGES IN MARRIAGE

For the past two decades swift, sweeping, scientific, cultural, technological changes and globalization have impacted the family and rendered it vulnerable. The current state of decline in society can largely be traced to the lack of importance attached to the well-being of humanity. But attacks both subtle and overt have led to the increasing breakdown of marriage and family. Hence we see families faced with various pressures and challenges that render the family dysfunction and prevent the growth of family life and strengthening of the spousal bond. My task through this presentation is to place before you the source of psycho- medical challenges, the signs of these challenges and the possible strategies so that this awareness may empower couples strengthen the spousal bond and doing so, build family which is the sanctuary of life, love and communion.

the psycho- medical challenges that prevent intimacy and life-giving relationships could be broadly classified as Internal factors within the spousal bond and External factors beyond the spousal bond.


INTERNAL FACTORS- INTRAPERSONAL


FAMILY OF ORIGIN :  Our family of origin has great impact on our identity and communication. The unique person that I am has its roots in the family of origin because we wrote our life scripts there. These scripts depended on how we were loved, accepted, understood and affirmed by our caregivers. We also  learnt  patterns of communication in our family. that is precisely why family is the first school of relationships. the family of origin impacts our ability to love, to communicate and to contribute to the spousal relationship

SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION :  Sexual dysfunction is defined as difficulty during any stage of the process of sexual intercourse,. It has to do either with Inhibited sexual desire, Inhibited Sexual arousal, Inhibited orgasm and painful sexual intercourse, which prevents the spouses from enjoying Sexual or physical intimacy.

Inhibited Sexual Desire also referred to as libido is a crisis that arises  from physical or psychological factors. It presents a lack or absence of interest in sexual activity. Contributing factors include non- acceptance of sexuality as a gift, anxiety, job related stress, financial loans, unresolved spousal conflicts and self image issues. Inhibited sexual desire could result through the use of medication. the common side effect of combined oral contraceptives and the use of anti- depressants, hypertensive drugs and mood stabilizers have shown a decrease in sexual desire. Depression also has a profound effect on sexual intimacy. 75% of those with depression cause sexual dysfunction.

Inhibited Sexual Arousal is understood as the failure to achieve erection despite strong sexual desire. Erectile dysfunction is a common sign and manifests in the male as failure to achieve and maintain an erection long enough to facilitate penetration . Erectile dysfunction is often associated with Vascular disease and Diabetes Mellitus. Performance anxiety may result in inhibited sexual arousal. Premature Ejaculation features within this and is responsible  for great spousal stress since the basic need of sexual intimacy is not met. Inhibited orgasm hinders sexual  arousal and is often brought about by fear, embarrassment, untreated anger, stress, traumatic sexual  experiences of the past as in child sexual abuse, social  conditioning  (Sex is for procreation only) and deeply entrenched taboos (sex is dirty). Painful sexual intercourse is seen in women in the form of  Vaginimus  and  dysparunia  both  of which should be understood and treated.


SYMPTOMS

In ability to feel aroused and lack of interest. Relational / psychological problems / hormonal problems.

                                    MEN                                                            WOMEN
1 . Delay / absence of ejaculation despite                          1. Burning or pain in vulva / vagina
despite stimulation                                                            
2.  Inability to have an erection                                         2.  Inability to reach orgasm.
3.  In ability to control timing of ejaculation                       3. Inability to relax vaginal muscles
4   Inability to sustain erection adequately for                     for intercourse
intercourse.                                                                       4. Inadequate vaginal lubrication.


TREATMENT :

Accurate Understanding of Sexuality as a quality of personality. A Holistic approach to Intimacy as a process

Call you doctor if symptoms persist

Medication to treat root cause

Hormonal replacement in therapy  (deficiency )

Behavioral therapy

Couple therapy- inter-persona issues / conflicts

Psycho-therapy to address anxiety fear and inhibitions.a- personal

Intra-personal  factors.........Psycho- medical challenges.....infertility and diseases.

Physical deficiency in form of disease , accidents , metabolic disorders , hormonal deficiencies ,birth defects (Klinefelter syndrome , Cryptoorchidism ) absence of organs , pelvic inflammatory  disease ectopic pregnancy all contribute to infertility and are a major source of stress in the life of the spouses.

Mental health disorders such as depression, Anxiety disorders, Adjustment disorders , Post-traumatic stress disorders Obsessive compulsive disorders , Paranoia , Bipolar personality disorders incapacitate the individuals and prevent them from entering fully and responding to the demands of an adult relationship .










Sunday, June 3, 2012

Interpersonal Challenges

The family system needs a marriage. A marriage can work if partners work together, fulfill each other's "needs and create a climate in which both can grow. Marriage therapist believe   that spouses can eliminate stress if    they confront and communicate their need to the other.

Common areas of conflict in spousal relationship:

Differences :   Marriage brings together two people with varying backgrounds , personalities, desires, views and priorities in the most intimate relationship possible for the rest of their life. when they live together these differences do not go away...in fact they come alive. How the couple understands or deals with these differences either builds or destroys the relationship.


Communication :  The patterns of communication learnt in the family of origin effects the quality of spousal communication. It is important that both spouses learn to use patterns that aid communication. and abandon those that are hazardous or destructive.


Time together :  Time management may be defined as the art of planning your time to fulfill your goals. Regardless of what your priorities are you need time together when you can physically and emotionally be available to each other. This will build both verbal as well as non-verbal  communication . Time together facilities communication and commitment to the relationship. Spouses who fit in daily or weekly rituals find it easier to live out their marriage in  life - giving way as well as contribute the well being of  their family.


Finance :  Money is a major contributory factor to couple discord . A dispute over money is symptomatic of deeper emotional problems or it could be seen as a means of control . The most important value is that spouses talk about themselves in relationship to money. Their relationship is important If possessions gain far more importance they will probably lose sight of love and intimacy along the way. Big financial secrets ruin the marriage for it violates trust..


Expectations :  Marriage is an opportunity to share life with another. This is truly one of life's greatest gift. What really damages that gift are our high expectations. The higher your expectation the more difficult your interaction with each other will be.


Resolving Conflicts :  To presume that partners will go through life without disagreement or arguments is idealistic, even naive. Be careful not to make the disagreement into a contest where one wins and the other loses. Let the relationship be the winner.









Marriage is a natural sacrament of divine love.

 Despite the fact that the Bible raises human sexuality and the relationship between man and woman to such a high level, it never deifies se...