a) The book of Genesisclearly expresses the fact that human beings find thier true identity only in relationship with other human beings. "The man gave names to all cattle and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field but for man there was not found a helper as his partner"(Gen. 2. 20). In relationship people are recognized and accepted as persons. This is what happens in personal love. This is an essential requirement for Christian marriage. The following can be considered as the charasteristics of this personal love.
i) Free to personaland interdependent existence. An essential aspect of the dialectics of love is that it jointstwo persons together in the most intimate way and by doing so at the same time sets them to be themselves. Only in this way can there be full complementary in thier relationship.
ii) Inter subjective communication mediated through sexually. It is there that marriage becomes fully operative. Sexually expresses and mediates intersubjective communication . Sexual union is a deep act of personal communication in which the whole person , body and soul are involved. Just as in God the Three Persons are distinct and yet united in love, in human communion, of which sexual relationship is one of the best images, there is perfect personal distinction and freedom and yet a perfect oneness in love.it is only to the extent that this distinction and communion are integrated into personal bonds that human sexually can be realized in the human sense. If these personal bonds are lacking , human sexuality can only result in the disintegration and loss of dignity of the human person.
iii) It manifests itself as constant growth in personal relationship. the most all-embracing form of personal bond between man and woman is marriage. More than any other forms of human relationship marriage embraces the whole person of both partners in all dimensions This is the reason why a couple that have lived their marriage union in all its integrity become closer and closer to one another as they grow older. The permanence of marriage is also the result of this integral personal relationship which the couples have been practicing throuhout their married life.
iv) This personal character of love includes justice. This personal character od love also demands that at least a minimum of physical health, social and economic requirements are needed if a marriage is to be successful. This means that they give to each other his or her due and thus restore equality in the relationship between the persons.
v) It is a love that demands self-denial and sacrifice. The most important service which the Churchhas to render is that of making young people capable of loving on thr basis of Christian faith.It is necessary that we bring home to people the fact that the success of marriage consists in successfully living a life of love which is not possible without self denial and sacrifice. The fundamental law of Gospel animated life is very much valid here: "He who loses his life will find it" (Mt.10. 39). One of essential elements that should be included in our catechesis of preparation for marriage is that deep personal relationship is not possible without denying self. Although this maybe correctly called an ascetical attitude and practice in our traditional language, I would call this an aesthetic attitude and practice is as much the sacreficial element is given a positive meaning. It lays the foundation for a life ofcomplementarity in which the differences are not only acceptedand tolerated, but appreciated and fostered. This will truly bring out the meaning of those words which we find often in commercial advertisements:
"Made for each other"
