Marriage is an authentic expression of love.

 The underlying principle that becomes permanently operative in every manifestation of Christian life is love. Christian will be known as such by, their love for one another. Christian life consists in translating Divine love into human love. It is necessary to distinguish love from liking. The former is other centred, while the latter is self centred. Since human beings are made according to the image of God, they are complete in their being only when they are related to one another in love by which they reproduce the core  of divine life, a life of communion in the diversity of the Three Divine Persons. Every Christian is called to live in communion. Each one responds to this call according to the contribution which they have to make for building up of the kingdom of God. Understood inthis sense marriage is a vacation. The natural attraction which the couples feel towards one another has to be transformed into a response of love. For this it is necessary to free the natural attraction of its selfish content. Here we have the difference between love and lust. Love is life-giving, while lust is destructive of life. We can distinguish three qualities in love:

Personal Love.

 a) The book of Genesisclearly expresses the fact that human beings find thier true identity only in relationship with other human beings. "The man gave names to all cattle and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field but for man there was not found a helper as his partner"(Gen. 2. 20). In relationship people are recognized and accepted as persons. This is what happens in personal love. This is an essential requirement for Christian marriage. The following can be considered as the charasteristics of this personal love.

i) Free to personaland interdependent existence. An essential aspect of the dialectics of love is that it jointstwo persons together in the most intimate way and by doing so at the same time sets them to be themselves. Only in this way can there be full complementary in thier relationship.

ii) Inter subjective communication mediated through sexually. It is there that marriage becomes fully operative. Sexually expresses and mediates intersubjective communication . Sexual union is a deep act of personal communication in which the whole person , body and soul are involved. Just as in God the Three Persons are distinct and yet united in love, in human communion, of which sexual relationship is one of the best images, there is perfect personal distinction and freedom and yet a perfect oneness in love.it is only to the extent that this distinction and communion are integrated into personal bonds that human sexually can be realized in the human sense. If these personal bonds are lacking , human sexuality can only result in the disintegration and loss of dignity of the human person.

iii) It manifests itself as constant growth in personal relationship. the most all-embracing form of personal bond between man and woman is marriage. More than any other forms of human relationship marriage embraces the whole person of both partners in all dimensions This is the reason why a couple that have lived their marriage union in all its integrity become closer and closer to one another as they grow older. The permanence of marriage is also the result of this integral personal relationship which the couples have been practicing throuhout their married life.

iv) This personal character of love includes justice. This personal character od love also demands that at least a minimum of physical health, social and economic requirements are needed if a marriage is to be successful. This means that they give to each other his or her due and thus restore equality in the relationship between the persons.

v) It is a love that demands self-denial and sacrifice. The most important service which the Churchhas to render is that of making young people capable of loving on thr basis of Christian faith.It is necessary that we bring home to people the fact that the success of marriage consists in successfully living a life of love which is not possible without self denial and sacrifice. The fundamental law of Gospel animated life is very much valid here: "He who loses his life will find it" (Mt.10. 39). One of essential elements that should be included in our catechesis of preparation for marriage is that deep personal relationship is not possible without denying self. Although this maybe correctly called an ascetical attitude and practice in our traditional language, I would call this an aesthetic attitude and practice is as much the sacreficial element is given a positive meaning. It lays the foundation for a life ofcomplementarity in which the differences are not only acceptedand tolerated, but appreciated and fostered. This will truly bring out the meaning of those words which we find often in commercial advertisements:

 "Made for each other"

Fruitful love

 b) One of the essential aspects of love is that it does not stay with itself, but tends to be fruitful. In the past fruitfulness of love was explained in a purely biological sense using the Genesis text "God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them,male and female he created them. God blessed them, and God said to them: 'Be fruitful and multifly and fill the earth"(Gen. 1,27-28). This proved to be quite unsatisfactoryexplanation because in contrast to the sexuality of animals, human sexuality displayed certain distinctive features which showed that its function was not restricted to the preservation of the species. In what way, then can we express the specificity of the fruitfulness of Christian marriage?

i) Love is impelled to realization, objectification and embodiment in a sharedthird party. The child is not a mere biological product: he or she the embodiment of the communion in love between the parents; he or she objectfies the self gift of the parents to one another. The two partners normally find themeslves in a new way in their child and the latter can thrive only as human beings if they are secure in the mutual love of the parents.

ii) Love is fruitful also through growth in mutual love of the couple. Every childless marriage is not a fruitless marriage unless there is a conscious exclusion of fruitfulness and deliverate closing in on itself for egoistic reasons: then it becomes a perversion. Even if the immediate reason for physical union of the partners is not to beget further descendants , but to deepen and enrich their own experiece of mutual love, this is of indirect benefit to the descendants who are already in the family.

iii) Love of the partners in marriage is fruitful also from a sociological and culture point of view. Marriage and family cannot be regardedby Christian as a merely private matter.

          Faithfulness in love.The shared responsibility of the partners for their children is one of the convincing arguments in favor of the indissolubility of marriage. However, this third good good of marriage, faithfulness can be more directly attributed to the essential meaning of love itself.

i) According to Gabriel Marcel, loving another person means telling him or her: You will not die. The bond that is established through love is not a mere legal bond: it affects our whole person; it sets in motion the whole of one's being towards the other. If marriage is founded on love not on likes and dislikes, not not on legal contracts alone, but a personal act of self-gift, it cannot be terminated because that will be going against the very nature of love.

ii) Faithfulness does not impede the exercise of human freedom. Freedom is different arbitrariness. The former is the capacity to relate oneself to all; it sets in motion a movement which cannot be stopped. The latter is to be guided entirely by self., whether it be one's mood, liking or ideology; it sets in motion towards oneself, just the opposite of the movement of freedom.

iii) The love with which  we love the other and commit ourselves to the other is a love that is participated from God. The definitive bond of faithfullness in marriage has an essential religious dimension, namely it is a participation in the divine love, Just as God's love is always faithful;so also the love of those who participate in it will also be definite.

iv) In the Christian marriage man and woman are able to find their definitive status in the faithfulness. They become one flesh or one in mind body (Gen.2,14; Mk 19;8; Eph.5,31); in other words they become a 'we' person. The mutual bond of faithfulness creates somthing that transcends the single personand binds the history of the two people definitively and at the deepest level together,

Indissolubility of Marriage

c)  Indissobility is a distinct charasteristic of Christian marriage. In fact this Christian position is questiond by some religions and many governments and members of civil society today. Although we have indirectly mentioned this problem in the previous paragraph dealing with the faithfulness in love as a characteristic of Christian marriage, we need to clarify certain issues connected with it.

a) The basis of definitiveness of the marriage bond is founded on the order of creation itself : "Then the man said : this at last is bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called woman , for out of man this one was taken. Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh" (Gen. 2:23-24). From this is clear that the strenght of bond is resting on the existential complementarity of both.

b) Later on the Old Testament the fidelity between the husband and wife is compared to the fidelity of Yahweh to his people which is irrevocable.Jesus makes this clear in his discussion with Jews that indissolubility of marriage was its original character. (Mk. 10, 2:12 and Mt. 19:3-9). Marriage bond, in this sense should be understood as a covenant rather than as a contract. See also Lk. 16:18.

c) Indissolubility is not based merely on a law of the Church, or an a moral norm, but rooted in the sacramentality of marriage itself. The divine element enters into this bond.

d) The principle of indissolubility is solidly based on Scripture. But in the course op time, as in the case of Old Testament at times there have been some cases of leniency. But these are exceptions and not violation of the law; but in modern times such exceptions are never entertained.

e) In this context, there is the question of Pauline privilage (1 Cor 7::12ff which cannot be termed divorce because for us Christians divorce is strictly applied to the breaking of the sacramental bond. In the case of Pauline Privilege, the sacramental bond is not fully realized: hence there cannot be divorce in the strict sense.

f) The indissolubility of marriage is unambiguously taught by the Council of Trent, Marriage bond cannot be dissolved for any reason whatsoever. The only thing that the Church can do is to declare a marriage null and void , by which she states that the marriage never took place for want of free consent or due to the presence of certain imprdiments which invalidate the marriage.

g) A non- consummated marriage can be dissolved by the Roman pontiff for a just cause (Can:11-42).The just cause can be discord without hope of reconcilliation, civil marriage by one party , probable impotence , incurable disease contacted after marriage, defect of consent. Religious profession invalidating marriage is not mentioned in the present code.
 

SACRAMENTALITY OF MARRIAGE

 Marriage is one of the seven sacraments or symbolic actions of the Church by which Christ continuesto accomplish the mystery of redemption. In Xhristian sacramental system Eucharist has its centrality. All the other sacraments are oriented to the Eucharist. Matrimony has a special role in this Eucharist centred sacramental system in as much it prepares the community that celrbratesthe Eucharist.Sacramentality is not somethingsuper- added to the human reality of marriage, but is rather its intrinsic elevation elevation and sanctification  through the baptism which the couple has received. "Authentic married love is caught up into divine love and is governed and enriched by Christ's redeeming power and the saving power of the Church...for this reason, Christian spouses have a speacial sacrament by which they are fortified and receive a kind of consecration in the duties and dignity of their state. By virtue of this sacrament, as spouses, they fulfill their conjugal and family obligations: they are penetrated by the Spirit of God. This Spirit suffuses their whole lives with faith , hope and charity" We shall now analizeand see the various elements that constitute the sacramental process of Christian marriage.

a) Sacraments are the efficasious signs of grace.  

Sacraments are instituted by Christ. They are efficacious signs of grace. Grace is nothing but the love of God. This is present in the world always; when it is expressed through a sign it becomes experiential. in the sacrament of matrimony the couple experience the love of God manifested in Christ's love for Church, both physically and spiritually. Christ is the one who acts in the sacraments. The Church is the minister of Christ who makes the effects of the sacrament visible. Being a sign of salvation , sacraments also have an eschatological significance , that is, they are prognostic expressions of the Kingdom to come when human love will be permanently taken up[ and made experiential in the risen body of he saved.

b) Marriage, Instituted by Christ as sacrament. 

The Sacramental nature of marriage cannot be proved by using individual words of institution. It is based on the fact that the marriage bond is related to the saving work of Christ. In the letter to the Ephesians the covenant between man and wife in marriage is seen as the image of the covenant between Christ and the Church.  "Just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself upn for her in order to make her holy by cleaning her with the washing of water by the word, soas to present the church to himself in splendour, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind -- just so that she may be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies... This is a great mystery (sacrament)"(Eph. 5,25-32). Besides , there are also the New Testament statements regarding marriage in the Lord' which we have already explained.

c) The sign of the sacrament of marriage is the human bond of love which characterizes every marriage.

When the baptized enter into this bond, it becomes the signs of Christ's self gift to the Church by which God's grace , divine life enters into the life of the couples. In order to make this sign authentic, it must be purified of all selfishness. The love and faithfulness that Christian husbands and wives have for each other are the effective sign, the fulfilled symbol and the real epiphany of the love of God that has appeared in Jesus Christ. If marriage represents a special form of being human in Christ that is based on Baptism, it is also a special form of sharing in the death and resurrection of Christ. If marital love is seen as existing undre the sign of Christ's cross, it must also been seen as being sustained by giving and being given.

d) Marriage is the sacrament of the Church.

Just as baptism is the ecclesial espression of the faith of the believer in Christ, sacrament of marriage is an ecclesial expression of the love that is given and recieved by the couples which symbolizes Christ's love for the Church. The Church plays an important role in the celebration as well as in living the sacrament of marriage. That is why Vatican 11 calls the family a 'domestic Church' . Although it is the bride and bridegroom who give the sacrament to each other, sacramental marriage is a covenantal act - public and legal - concerning the whole community of believers. This is the reason why the validity of marriage requires that the marriage be celebrated in the Church and before the ministers of the Church.

e) Marriage is an eschatological sign.

The festive mood of a wedding is a symbol of the joy and the fulfillment of human hope that will be present at the end of time (Mark 2, 19ff, Mt. 22, 1-14, 1-13). The means used by God for for the growth of the children of God is the sacrament of marriage. Besides , the growth towards the fullness of human life, which is an eschatological goal, will be normally realized through the family where the love is already active.

Liturgy of Marriage Celebration

 Like other Sacramental rites, marriage now takes place withen the Mass.Since it is a sign of the covenant between God and humanity and since Eucharist is supremely the renewal of the covenant, the appropriateness of this arrangement is obvious. Besides it is very meaningful to integrate the mutual self-gift of the couple inti yhe self-gift of Christ to the Church. A mixed marriage with the baptized person is normally celebrated outside Mass, although it could celebrated during Mass with the permession of the local ordinary.

Marriage being a sacrament of the Church it is celebrated in facie ecclesiae, that is, in the presence of the official minister of the Church, In the Latin Church, it is ordinarily understood that the spouses, as ministers of Christ's grace mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of matrimony by expressing their consent before the Church. Therefore the couples are the ministers of the sacrament of Matrimony in the Western Chuch. In the Eastern liturgies the minister of this sacrament is the priest or the Bishop who, after receiving the mutual consent of the spouses, successively crowns the bridegroom and the bride as a sign of the marriage covenant.. 

The presence of the official minister of the Church is necessary for the validity of the marriage. We can distinguise for aspects of the reality of Christian marriage as it is presented in the Rite of marriage of the Roman Rite :

a) Marriage is the celebration of the Church. The introductory rites put in evidence the fact that the relationship between the couple is, through the sacramental celebration, entering into the wider relationship of which the Church is constituted.. The parish community rejoices on this happy occasion because through the celebration of marriage the love relationship that exist in the community is going to be expressed by two individuals in terms of their self-gift. The introductory dialogue expresses the content of their mutual dedication and their commitment to fulfill the conditions of marriage: freedom indissolubility, fecundity and to take up their responsibility as spouses and parents.

b) Marriage is a covenantal act. The consent which they exchange after the liturgy od the Word is not a mere legal contract, but a covenantal act by which both of them enter into each other's gamut of relationships. It is an expression of their total and unconditional belonging to one another. The terms of this covenant is their human love purified of sefishness and sanctified in self-gift.  Grounded in Christ's mystery this intimate community is made holy by the presence and action of the Holy Spirit. The word of God which they have listened to will be the interpreter of their lives henceforward and not their ideology of their likes or dislikes.

c) Marriage as an act of consecration. The nuptial blessing that is imparted to the newly wed after the doxology is an act of consecration. The covenant is ratified by God by the action of the Holy Spirit through the Ministry of the Church. The reality of marriage is fully inserted into the history of salvation. It recalls to mind the first blessing pronounced by God on Adam and Eve : all the other blessings that are pronounced on the couples in the course of time are a renewal of that blessing . Henceforward, the relationship between the newly wed people will be regulatedand actualized in the spirit of this ratification effected by the Holy Spirit.

d) Marriage as a fruitful union. This is the content of the final blessing given by the priest. The exchangeof consent made fruitful by the blessing has now to become a reality in their daily lives. This fruitfulnesshas the following expressions : they give life to new members in the Church, they themselves grow in selflessness and thus bear witness to redemptive union of Christ with the Church: they build up Christian families which are the domestic Church  units which constitutes are the domestic Church in a locality. Thus the newly wed go into the world to live their alliance ratified before the altar. They become witnesses of the union of Christ with his Church. 

The new rite of marriage translates into ritual the basic theological elements of the sacrament of matrimony. Through its celebration they recieve the grace to live their commitment throughout their life. Marriage becomes not so much their initiative as a response to the call which the Lord has made to them in his Church.

 

SPIRITUALITY OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

 Spirituality is the living of an adequate response which the human person are expected to give to the call of God moved and led by the Spirit of God. Seen in this light spirituality of married life has the following characteristic:

(a) It is the daily call and response.  While all the beings in this world with a specific pattern of behavior called natural law, the human beings are called into existence personally by God. Life is, therefore, a call and response. This is given at every moment and hence every moment ought to to be a response. In the case of persons this call is specific to each one and it manifests itself in different ways. In marriage it is the call of God given to a man and women mediated by each other. They respond to God through their mutual love. they make their life meaningful by this mutual daily response.

(b) The human love is become the sacrament of the love of God.  They manifest their response to God by their love for one another. By the sacrament of matrimony each becomes a grace to the other. Their human conjugal love becomes consecrated love.. This will not take place automatically. Since they carry with them their belonging to sinful Adam and Eve, they have to be constantly struggling to keep their love for one another free from selfishness. It is this ascetism of self-denial which makes their human love become the symbol of divine love.

(c) The acceptance of the cross as an expression of their covenantal love. The married couple will have to accept the differences of each. This is an integral part of the true love. This will be the cross that they have to experience daily. This does not characterize each one as the cross of the other. The cross is in the effort to relate to the other. But if they dedicatedly accept this cross and live it in fidelity , the relationship will result in an experience of the resurrection, giving them a lasting joy and happiness.

(d) The spirituality of sexual union. Sexual union at married couple is an expression of their love for one another in its highest form. If is done in a spirit of genuine love and not in a hedonistic spirit it will become the sacrament of the creative love of God. It will build up their communion in such a way that it will grow into genuine personal relationship lasting even unto death , continually experienced even when physical sexual pleasure becomes diminished. The presence of the spirit of God who is the real source of happy life is fully operative in the lives of such couple.