Marriage in Christian tradition.

i) In the Patristic Period. The early Christians took great care to see that the Christians entered into marriage by choosing partners who were members of the faith community because of the deep meaning that they gave to Christian understanding of marriage in Christ which we have explained above. Apart from that there were no Christian marriage rituals, they simply got married according to the civil customs and ceremonies of the day. There was little involvement of the clergy and their presence was notrequired for validit. The only active role of the clergy was the blessings of the spouses a custom that became widespread without becoming obligatory and without a prescribed formula. In some cases there was a Eucharistic celebration at which the newly wed participated and received the blessing. We have evidence of a nuptial Mass in the Roman Sacramentaries from 6th century onwards.

ii) n the Middle Ages. From 11th century onwards, due to instability and weakening of civil authority, the Church took over the civil regulations of marriage. Marrige is  now conducted in  face ecclesiae (in the presence of the Church) and the social elements peculliar to earlier secularform were now incorporated into the marriage liturgy, which had become a liturgical rite conducted by the priest. It is at this time that the Church decides that consent (the Roman juridical; element) and the consummation (the Franco-Germanic personal element) enter as the constitutive elements of marriage. It is Pope Alexander III who declared consent as the essence of the bond of marriage and that the bond is indissoluble only after consummation. Hence the concept of marriage ratum et consummatum.

iii) The Coucil of Trent. The Council of Trent in the polemic against the Reformers stressed the sacramental nature of marriage and the power of the Church to regulate marriage. It also sought to combat the evil of clandestine marriage. It declared that in future the only valid form of marriage for Catholics would be consent declared before a priest and two witnesses. The rite itself became juridical in nature with the focus on consent and ratification of consent by the priest. This form of the rite continued until very recent times.

The teaching of Vatican II. This represents a change of perspective. Some of the major points are:

i) There is a shift from the juridical to the more personalistic concept of marriage 'Contract gives way to the more biblical 'covenant '. "The intimate partnership(foedus=covenant) of life and the love which constitutes the married state is rooted in their irrevocable personal consenr" .

ii) Conjugal love is the concrete essence of Christian marriage , reflecting as it does the covenantal love of Christ for his Church. " He abides with them in order that by their mutual self- giving spouses will love each other with enduring fidelity as he loved the Church and delivered himself for it ".

iii) The terminology of primary and secondary ends is abandoned and the values of marriage are listed without any hierarchical preference.

iv) The sacramentally of marriage is not something added to the marriage union established through human love.. "Authentic married love is taken up into divine love and is ruled and enriched by the redemptive power of Christ and the action of the Church".

v) There is an emphasis on the necessity of faith commitment for the sacrament of marriage. Marriage is  not just between baptized Christians, but between Christifidelies, faithful Christians. All these elements are reflected in the introduction to the New Rite of Marriage.

ELEMENTS FOR A CORRECT UNDERSTANDING OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE TODAY

 Marriage as part of God's plan.

 i) The religious basis of marriage.  Christians speaks of marriage being instituted by God as part of an overall plan or design for creation. They are implying that there are some givens which cannot be changed according to human whims or intention. A religious sense of reality in general insists that people need to be guided in their decisions by the realization of something greater that is present of the heart of the world. They must drew upon the fundamental rhythm of God's creation to keep their sensitivities alive.. The human agenda is not the domonant one.

ii) The social basis of marriage. The sense of being part of a greater living whole, the society, is really   the background for the Christian insistence that marriage in the Church is not simply an agreement laid down by the mutual consent of the parties involved. The couple chooses to marry in the midst of the community because it is an event that affects the rest of the communituy as well as their relationship with that community.

iii) The ecclesial basis of marriage. St. Paul speaks of Christian marriage as a union between man and woman in Christ. Those who live in Christ through the sacrament of baptism constitute the Church Christian social life has its foundation in Baptism. Christian marriage is a special expression of the new life received at Baptism, a sacrament of the Baptism reality. The self-gift of Christ in his death and resurrection which is sacramentalized in Baptism becomes visible, public and permanent in a personal way in the lives of those who enter into marriage bond. Therefore Christians marry not only in Christ, but in the Church.

Marriage is an authentic expression of love.

 The underlying principle that becomes permanently operative in every manifestation of Christian life is love. Christian will be known as such by, their love for one another. Christian life consists in translating Divine love into human love. It is necessary to distinguish love from liking. The former is other centred, while the latter is self centred. Since human beings are made according to the image of God, they are complete in their being only when they are related to one another in love by which they reproduce the core  of divine life, a life of communion in the diversity of the Three Divine Persons. Every Christian is called to live in communion. Each one responds to this call according to the contribution which they have to make for building up of the kingdom of God. Understood inthis sense marriage is a vacation. The natural attraction which the couples feel towards one another has to be transformed into a response of love. For this it is necessary to free the natural attraction of its selfish content. Here we have the difference between love and lust. Love is life-giving, while lust is destructive of life. We can distinguish three qualities in love:

Personal Love.

 a) The book of Genesisclearly expresses the fact that human beings find thier true identity only in relationship with other human beings. "The man gave names to all cattle and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field but for man there was not found a helper as his partner"(Gen. 2. 20). In relationship people are recognized and accepted as persons. This is what happens in personal love. This is an essential requirement for Christian marriage. The following can be considered as the charasteristics of this personal love.

i) Free to personaland interdependent existence. An essential aspect of the dialectics of love is that it jointstwo persons together in the most intimate way and by doing so at the same time sets them to be themselves. Only in this way can there be full complementary in thier relationship.

ii) Inter subjective communication mediated through sexually. It is there that marriage becomes fully operative. Sexually expresses and mediates intersubjective communication . Sexual union is a deep act of personal communication in which the whole person , body and soul are involved. Just as in God the Three Persons are distinct and yet united in love, in human communion, of which sexual relationship is one of the best images, there is perfect personal distinction and freedom and yet a perfect oneness in love.it is only to the extent that this distinction and communion are integrated into personal bonds that human sexually can be realized in the human sense. If these personal bonds are lacking , human sexuality can only result in the disintegration and loss of dignity of the human person.

iii) It manifests itself as constant growth in personal relationship. the most all-embracing form of personal bond between man and woman is marriage. More than any other forms of human relationship marriage embraces the whole person of both partners in all dimensions This is the reason why a couple that have lived their marriage union in all its integrity become closer and closer to one another as they grow older. The permanence of marriage is also the result of this integral personal relationship which the couples have been practicing throuhout their married life.

iv) This personal character of love includes justice. This personal character od love also demands that at least a minimum of physical health, social and economic requirements are needed if a marriage is to be successful. This means that they give to each other his or her due and thus restore equality in the relationship between the persons.

v) It is a love that demands self-denial and sacrifice. The most important service which the Churchhas to render is that of making young people capable of loving on thr basis of Christian faith.It is necessary that we bring home to people the fact that the success of marriage consists in successfully living a life of love which is not possible without self denial and sacrifice. The fundamental law of Gospel animated life is very much valid here: "He who loses his life will find it" (Mt.10. 39). One of essential elements that should be included in our catechesis of preparation for marriage is that deep personal relationship is not possible without denying self. Although this maybe correctly called an ascetical attitude and practice in our traditional language, I would call this an aesthetic attitude and practice is as much the sacreficial element is given a positive meaning. It lays the foundation for a life ofcomplementarity in which the differences are not only acceptedand tolerated, but appreciated and fostered. This will truly bring out the meaning of those words which we find often in commercial advertisements:

 "Made for each other"

Fruitful love

 b) One of the essential aspects of love is that it does not stay with itself, but tends to be fruitful. In the past fruitfulness of love was explained in a purely biological sense using the Genesis text "God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them,male and female he created them. God blessed them, and God said to them: 'Be fruitful and multifly and fill the earth"(Gen. 1,27-28). This proved to be quite unsatisfactoryexplanation because in contrast to the sexuality of animals, human sexuality displayed certain distinctive features which showed that its function was not restricted to the preservation of the species. In what way, then can we express the specificity of the fruitfulness of Christian marriage?

i) Love is impelled to realization, objectification and embodiment in a sharedthird party. The child is not a mere biological product: he or she the embodiment of the communion in love between the parents; he or she objectfies the self gift of the parents to one another. The two partners normally find themeslves in a new way in their child and the latter can thrive only as human beings if they are secure in the mutual love of the parents.

ii) Love is fruitful also through growth in mutual love of the couple. Every childless marriage is not a fruitless marriage unless there is a conscious exclusion of fruitfulness and deliverate closing in on itself for egoistic reasons: then it becomes a perversion. Even if the immediate reason for physical union of the partners is not to beget further descendants , but to deepen and enrich their own experiece of mutual love, this is of indirect benefit to the descendants who are already in the family.

iii) Love of the partners in marriage is fruitful also from a sociological and culture point of view. Marriage and family cannot be regardedby Christian as a merely private matter.

          Faithfulness in love.The shared responsibility of the partners for their children is one of the convincing arguments in favor of the indissolubility of marriage. However, this third good good of marriage, faithfulness can be more directly attributed to the essential meaning of love itself.

i) According to Gabriel Marcel, loving another person means telling him or her: You will not die. The bond that is established through love is not a mere legal bond: it affects our whole person; it sets in motion the whole of one's being towards the other. If marriage is founded on love not on likes and dislikes, not not on legal contracts alone, but a personal act of self-gift, it cannot be terminated because that will be going against the very nature of love.

ii) Faithfulness does not impede the exercise of human freedom. Freedom is different arbitrariness. The former is the capacity to relate oneself to all; it sets in motion a movement which cannot be stopped. The latter is to be guided entirely by self., whether it be one's mood, liking or ideology; it sets in motion towards oneself, just the opposite of the movement of freedom.

iii) The love with which  we love the other and commit ourselves to the other is a love that is participated from God. The definitive bond of faithfullness in marriage has an essential religious dimension, namely it is a participation in the divine love, Just as God's love is always faithful;so also the love of those who participate in it will also be definite.

iv) In the Christian marriage man and woman are able to find their definitive status in the faithfulness. They become one flesh or one in mind body (Gen.2,14; Mk 19;8; Eph.5,31); in other words they become a 'we' person. The mutual bond of faithfulness creates somthing that transcends the single personand binds the history of the two people definitively and at the deepest level together,

Indissolubility of Marriage

c)  Indissobility is a distinct charasteristic of Christian marriage. In fact this Christian position is questiond by some religions and many governments and members of civil society today. Although we have indirectly mentioned this problem in the previous paragraph dealing with the faithfulness in love as a characteristic of Christian marriage, we need to clarify certain issues connected with it.

a) The basis of definitiveness of the marriage bond is founded on the order of creation itself : "Then the man said : this at last is bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called woman , for out of man this one was taken. Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh" (Gen. 2:23-24). From this is clear that the strenght of bond is resting on the existential complementarity of both.

b) Later on the Old Testament the fidelity between the husband and wife is compared to the fidelity of Yahweh to his people which is irrevocable.Jesus makes this clear in his discussion with Jews that indissolubility of marriage was its original character. (Mk. 10, 2:12 and Mt. 19:3-9). Marriage bond, in this sense should be understood as a covenant rather than as a contract. See also Lk. 16:18.

c) Indissolubility is not based merely on a law of the Church, or an a moral norm, but rooted in the sacramentality of marriage itself. The divine element enters into this bond.

d) The principle of indissolubility is solidly based on Scripture. But in the course op time, as in the case of Old Testament at times there have been some cases of leniency. But these are exceptions and not violation of the law; but in modern times such exceptions are never entertained.

e) In this context, there is the question of Pauline privilage (1 Cor 7::12ff which cannot be termed divorce because for us Christians divorce is strictly applied to the breaking of the sacramental bond. In the case of Pauline Privilege, the sacramental bond is not fully realized: hence there cannot be divorce in the strict sense.

f) The indissolubility of marriage is unambiguously taught by the Council of Trent, Marriage bond cannot be dissolved for any reason whatsoever. The only thing that the Church can do is to declare a marriage null and void , by which she states that the marriage never took place for want of free consent or due to the presence of certain imprdiments which invalidate the marriage.

g) A non- consummated marriage can be dissolved by the Roman pontiff for a just cause (Can:11-42).The just cause can be discord without hope of reconcilliation, civil marriage by one party , probable impotence , incurable disease contacted after marriage, defect of consent. Religious profession invalidating marriage is not mentioned in the present code.