III. Fundamental task of the Family is to serve LIFE

  
*     Creator's purpose of  Sex ".... person to person giving...."

*     We have the Unitive and Procreative end of marriage

Fundamental Principles with regards to Sexual Union In Marriage

 1.        " Every marital act must be open to the transmission of life."

2.           One cannot separate from  the unitive end of the sexual act, the procreative end. (Both Inseparable)

3.           Safeguarding both these essential aspects ( unitive and procreative), the conjugal act conserves
              integrally the sense of mutual & true love, and its ordination to the highest vocation man and woman
              to parenthood.

Married Couples are co-creators- entrusted the care of children

                 

                   *    Choice of Life means choice for Procreation & Responsible Parenthood
                   *    In Contraception procreative- end frustrated.
                   *    Contraception    defeats the purpose of marriage   - which is for total self- giving.
                   *    Contraception makes the sacred marital act unworthy because it depreciate the PERSON,
                         degrades him/her to an object of pleasure.
                   *    The Church invites couples to understand their fertility patterns & use Creative Natural Fertility
                         (CNFM) or Natural Family Planning (NFP) which should be a way of life.

Last Word....

Jesus Christ said: " I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.>> [ John 10:10]. Baptism gives us new life in Christ. That life involves far more than simply following a set of rules. It is about understanding our calling and living us free human beings not tied down by any bondages, and making LOVE our fundamental option. Married couples have to fight this "culture of death" by giving witness to a life-giving Marriage and help build stable, happy & Christ- Centered families.

Catholic Morality In Human Relationship

Introduction

When married love is lived in its most authentic nature, it is expressed in all life situation, becoming a witness, proclaiming and realizing the Kingdom of God: " It is in married and family love... that Christian Family's participation in the prophetic, priestly and kingly mission of Christ and his Church finds expression and realization. Therefore, love and life constitute the nucleus of the saving mission of the Christian family in the Church and for the Church" (Familiaries Consortio [FC],50).The conjugal love of the spouses is fully expressed in fatherhood and motherhood, the fruit of their love, which makes them co-responsible for the gift of life, by protecting, developing, educating and evangelizing: " Christian couples are, for each other, for their children and for their relatives, co- operators of grace and witnesses of the faith. They are the first to pass on the faith to their children and to educate them in it.  By word and example they form them to a Christian and apostolic life"( cfr FC, 36-40, 53)

Catholic morality is about life

Our Lord Jesus said, " I come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.>>( John 10:10).
Faith and baptism give us new life in Christ. That life involves far more than simply following a set of rules.It is about living as free human beings not tied down by any bondages and making LOVE our fundamental option.

Morality is a call to recognize our dignity as men and women who have received a free gift of new lfe in Christ. We must live accordingly. Our Lord Jesus himself clearly taught us the first principles of Catholic morality: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it. You should love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.>>(Mt 22: 37-40)

Love, or Charity, is the great commandments of the Lord.

Love of God and love of neighbor are the source & summary of Catholic morality. " all the law and the prophets " flow from this starting point.

This means that what love requires is the essence of all moral rites, all the Ten Commandments, and all aspects of morality spoken of by the Christ and Church Tradition down the ages. The only things needed are those things which love makes necessary.

Culture of Death

In March 1995, Pope John Paul spoke a profound " crisis of culture which was against the world...marriage & family. A mentality against life enhancing culture,which he called as "Culture of Death..." The phrase "culture of life" is described by Catholic moral theologians as a philosophy that human life, at all stages from conception through to natural death, is sacred. As such, a "culture of life>>is claimed to be opposed to practices seen by its proponents as destructive of human life, often including embryonic stem cell research, abortion, euthanasia, contraception, sex outside marriage,capital punishment,greed, degradation,sadistic humiliation,narcissism, selfishness,poverty and war. The "culture of death" degrades the human person and encourages a mentality that devalues the institution of marriage and family. When it comes to human relationships, the human person is degraded into an object of pleasure, and the sanctity of marriage is not valued thus giving approval to pre-marital sex and extra-marital affairs.

Changes in Language instituted by the Culture of Death

*   Pre-Marital Sex is now called co-habitation
*   Contraception methods - reproductive health products
*   Abortion - woman's health issue
*   Euthanasia- death with dignity
*   Pornography- sexually explicit material
*   Child molestation- inter-generational love
*   Promoscuity- serial monogamy
*   Adultery-flexible monogamy
*   Partner in adultery- significant other
*   Bestiality- interspecies love

We are called to give witness to love and life in these challenging times when the "culture of death" mentality is challenging the very foundation of the Christian understanding of the human person, marriage and family.

The Church is a mother and loves her children and wants the best for you, as a mother she has a duty to teach the Truth to her children. When we talk about Catholic Morality we need to keep these thoughts in mind that the Church teaches as a mother.

Our fundamental vocation is to love:

Catholic Morality should be understood in the context of our vocation to love. God created man in His own image and likeness: calling him to existence in love, through love and for love. Therefore LOVE is our fundamental vocation. Two specific ways of realizing this vocation to love: Single life (virginity/celibacy) or Marriage. Marriage is the vocation of the Majority of the people.

Some terms:

There are certain terms we need to be familiar with when we talk about Christian Morality in Relationships

Chastity : Living in a world with a growing hedonistic mentality, we draw our attention to the value of Chastity. Chastity/celibacy  is not a value  to be witnessed only by priests and nuns but all Christians. Catholicism defines chastity as the virtue that moderates the sexual appetite.Unmarried Catholics express chastity through sexual abstinence. Sexual intercourse within marriage is considered chaste when it retains the twofold significance of unity and procreation.

Chastity as a moral virtue regulates the use of one's sexuality in such a way that "I" can encounter the particular "thou" validly and lovingly, abstaining from sexual dealings which will harm the encounter.

Sexuality:  Sexuality is not something related only to the body, but something that affects the whole person in the depth of his/her being, where his/her "I" is discovered. We have the genetic and the genetic component of our sexuality, and Generic-affective and personal dimension.

Christian view of the human body

*   Gen 1:27 : Human beings are created in the image of God
*   Dignity of human person. God created man in his own image and likeness [ Gen 1: 27].
     Hence, body is the medium or sign that reveal God's love, power, goodness etc. therefore, body is very
     sacred.
*   In this context, the vocation and dignity of the human person should be clearly understood.
*   Mature sexual behavior comes from a proper understanding of the sacredness of our sexuality.
*   Problem today- Morals have been corrupted, modern communication media only adds to this
     corruption-influence of films, T.V. serials, print media and opinion polls.
*   We need to beware of the influence of " Hedonistic Culture".
*   The human person is sacred and not to use and abuse.
*   Sincere intention alone is not enough; life must be based on objective standards.
*   All our relationships should be guided by the universal norms of love.
*   The general and basic principles in this domain are: sex has a finality, which determines its morality.

Mutual self-giving and procreation make up the finality.
This finality is preserved only in marriage. Therefore, genital sex is justified only in marriage and consequently the use of sex outside marriage is immoral.

Respecting Relationship Boundaries:

Every human relationship is moderated by " relationship boundaries" . We need to respect person & their boundaries. The church teaches that sexual union is permitted only in a spousal relationship, all sexual encounters outside marriage are immoral. Under the given topic we are going to discuss briefly just three topics, namely: Premarital Sex, Extra- Marital Affairs and Contraception.

1.  Pre-Marital Sexual Relationship

    Entered by those unmarried or in preparation for marriage.
    Why is Pre-Marital Sex is wrong?

1. They behave as spouses before they become. Sexual intercourse is a "typical expression", and unique
     to marital union. Hence to perform it they should be married couples.
2. They distort  and reduce the marriage commitment.
*  The decisive act of self-giving and acceptance is valid if expressed in a particular moment of time.
     (celebration of sacrament)
3. They point to a false language.
*   Sexual act is a language which is deep and expressed between two married people.
*   Sexual interaction uses a deep and exclusive and exclusive language. In PMS they and do not mean it.
     Therefore. it is cheating. They give their bodies but not themselves. Therefore no self-giving.
     It is dissection of the person, they give their body but not their inner selves.
4.  They act intentionally against the proactive end of marriage- use of contraception.
5.  One cannot use persons, but only things. The sexual gesture is done without any interior meaning.
6.  Such action leave in them a deep sense of psychological incompleteness.
*   Whole person not involved.
*   develop a 'playboy and playgirl psychology'.

Three altars

A family can overcome all its problems and be very happy if it is faithful to the three altars.The first altar is the one on which we celebrate the Eucharist. Without the Eucharist we cannot face the difficulties of our job, society, and of our family.In the Eucharist we celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and he gives us his body and blood, his life. In the Eucharist Jesus gives himself to all, not only to those who are pure and clean  but also to those who struggling against passions and temptations of any kind: money, sex, career, social position, etc. In the family, and in religious communities as well, we need to learn from Jesus to die to ourselves. If we want to resurrect to a life of understanding, peace and love we have to many times renounce ourselves, our personal habits, traditions, visions and opinions. This 'death' is the necessary condition for peace in the family and social life. We should not live this kind of death with a psychological depression and sadness but as a participation for the good of others. In the Eucharist Jesus Christ doesn't give us only the example of total renouncement of himself till his physical death, but he especially enables us to die to ourselves for others, he gives us a sure hope of resurrection in our family life. In the Eucharist we receive the Word of God, the Father, the power of the Holy Spirit, the presence of Jesus Christ: the Trinity is with us and in us! From God, who "causes his sun to rise on bad men as well as good>> (Mt.5:45), we learn how to love all,how we should love our wife or our husband, and from him we have a power to do it. If we have problems in our family life, psychologists and doctors can help you but their help will be very limited if you don't look for the essential help: the Eucharist. Without the Eucharist we cannot live our life in peace.

The Eucharist is necessary not only in order to tolerate and to love each other but also to receive power to do the will of God. Marriage has two purposes:1] the sanctification of the spouses, 2] to collaborate with God, the only creator, to procreate children, the mission of parents, to be open to life.

The second altar is the marital bed

How many strange and distorted ideas we have on this matter! Many times intercourse is seen as something a"permitted" in the marriage and we think that only the priests and nuns who lives in celibacy are more near God. Marital intercourse is considered as something dirty, related only to the pleasure of the flesh and not to God. No, marital intercourse is the extension of the sacraments of marriage, that we celebrate in the church. In marital intercourse we obey God who says: " Be fruitful, multiply feel the earth and conquer it>> ( Gen. 1:28) and we renew the sacrament of marriage, so it is a blessing from God. Sometimes people think that the sacrament of marriage ends in the church, after that there is the normal life of the spouse is something of these and the sacrament of marriage past, finished, just to avoid living in concubinate.No,God will always follow us in our life, especially when we put into practice his will to be one. Just as the priests exercises his priesthood when he celebrates the sacraments, in the same way we exercise our sacraments of marriage when, couples married in the church, meet sexually.Finally, even marital intercourse is a moment of true offering if it is enlightened and empowered by Eucharist.

The third altar is the table at which we eat

However to be at the table together is an essential moment for communication.To pray together, to eat together, means to live together. Don't neglect Sunday as the day of the family. We have to choose between remaining faithful to God and looking for consolation in the world, knowing that the peace of the world is not the peace of Jesus.

Other recommendation

The Christian marriage is an engagement between husband and wife to help each other towards the way to Jesus Christ, and to encourage each other to have Jesus as the person always present in their family. How can a non-Christian part help the Christian part in this way towards Jesus? Therefore a marriage with a non-Catholic is not an ideal one : too many differences of traditions, mentally, way of prayer, concept of the marital life, interpretation of the Bible, theology of the Sacraments, etc.
How can we help our community: children, young people, single married, married? The Church to all. The Eucharist that we celebrate together is really for all. But in our time we need a stronger formation, in order to resist the attractions of the world (internet, TV, sex, alcohol). Very recently, on 17 January 2011, Pope Benedict XVI addressed some thousands of priests, seminarians, catechists, and families (with many children) of the Neo-Catechumenal way and said: " For more than 40 years the Neocatechumenal Way has been contributing to revive and consolidate Christian initiation in the dioceses and parishes, fostering a gradual and radical rediscovery of the riches in baptism, helping the divine life, the heavenly life that the Lord with his Incarnation, coming in our midst, being  born as one of us. This gift of God for his Church is placed "at the service of the bishops as one of the ways of the diocesan accomplishment of Christian initiation and a permanent education in the faith.
Accomplished profitability in the last few years has been the process of writing of the Statutes of the Neocatechumenal Way that, after a period of validity was approved definitively in June 2008. Another significant step carried out in these days, with the approval of the competent dicasteries of the Holt See, is the Catechetical Directory of the Neocatechumenal Way. With these ecclesiastical seals, the Lord confirms today and entrusts to us again this precious instrument that is the Way, so that we can, in filial obedience to the Holy See and to the pastors of the Church, contribute, with new impetus and ardour, to the radical and joyful rediscovery of the gift of baptism and to offer our original contribution to the cause of the New Evangelization. The Church has recognized in the Neo-catechumenal Way a particular gift aroused by the Holy Spirit: as such, it tends naturally to inset itself in the great harmony of the  ecclesial body. In this light, we exhort to seek always a profound communion with the pastors and with all the components of the particular Churches and the very different ecclesial contexts in which we are called  to operate. The fraternal communion between the disciples of Jesus is, in fact, the first and greatest testimony to the name of Jesus Christ.

Marriage in the Old Testament

Here we deal with the practice and understanding of marriage in the life of Israelites beginning with Abraham.

Types of marriage.The marriage practice of the Israelites was very much influenced by the neighboring peoples. There are four types of marriage in ancient Israel: Polygamy (David and Solomon)
which seems to have been the privilege  of  the rich,bigamy (Leah and Rachel for Jacob) concubines
(Abraham,Sara and Hagar), which involved  a legal wife and a concubine, and monogamy which received
more existence mainly in the post exilic period.


Marriage celebration.  Marriage was a family affair which required actually no public or religiuos
ceremonies. It became effective by the mere act of bringing the bride into the house of the bridegroom.Though
as an institution it was never in the hands of the priest. It was still celebrated with some religious elements for it was  considered to be sacred.

Theology of Marriage. From the account of the creation it is clear that the essence of complementarity and equity is the way that God intended the relationship between man and woman to be from the beginning (Gen. 1,27). But the story of the fall clearly shows that the inequality of the sexes in the life of the Israelites was a punishment that resulted from the fall and was not intended by God from the very beginning. Obviously marriage was presented as God's plan to increase the human race (Gen. 1,28).
There is a deep sense of complementarity, sense of bonding, sense of unity in the narrative of the creation of Eve. This is manifested in marriage as is evident from Gen. 1,20-24. The genesis account clearly shows that God  intended marriage in terms of monogamy. The other trends entered into marriage practice through the influence of the people in the midst of whom the Israelites lived.In the later periods of the history of Israel,the
concept of fidelity to the covenant between God and Israel becomes a model for marital relationship (Is. 54, 6-70). Marriage  is relationship that should not be taken lightly. In the book of Deuteronomy the indissoluble character of marriage is presented with some exceptions which Jesus would explain as a concession for  human weakness (Deut. 24, 1-4)... But prophet Malachi speaks of a significant change in the matter of indissolubility: "For I hate divorce, says the Lord, the God of Israel" (Mal. 2, 15-16).

Marriage in the New Testament

Jesus' attitude towards marriage. This is expected most clearly in Mark 10:2-9,  in a controversy with
the Pharisees. Jesus is confronted with the question of divorce. Jesus did not enter into the casuistry,
but raises the whole matter to a higher level. And points to the original order of God's creation. His
conclusion is " what God has joined together,let no man put asunder". It would be wrong to under-
stand the pronouncement of Jesus about marriage as a legal statement.It is above all a prophetic
and messianic proclamation, an affirmation of salvation and grace. In Jesus' proclamation, marriage
 is seen both as part of the original order of creation and as an aspect of the order of salvation of God
in his kingdom of love and faithfulness in future.

The Christological understanding of marriage.There is a change in the
understanding of marriage with the coming of Christ. Marriage which is closely linked to humanity,
as we have seen earlier,will have to be understand in a new way.Paul expresses it by saying that Christians
should marry "in the LORD" (1Cor.7,39). Through Baptism an ontological change or a deep personal transformation takes place in the Christians.They are united with Christ not merely on an ideological plane,
but on a personal level.In marriage the relationship between husband and wife is grafted into the personal
relationship between Christ and the Church established by Christ (Eph.5,25). When Christians enter into marriage relationship the following take place:

The key to unity between husband and wife is in the fact that both are integrated into the self-gift of Christ.
The subjection of the wife to husband should not be understood in a juridical sense,but in a personal and organic sense; in the same way the self-gift of husband to the wife should also be understood. their roles as
husband and wife acquire a mystical dimension through Christian marriage.There is no superiority or inferiority,but only only complementary of function. This expressed very beautifully in 1 Cor. 7,4. "For the
wife does not have authority over her own body,but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have
authority over his own body,but the wife has". thus a new kind of marriage takes place when Christian enter into marriage in Christ. It is not merely a marriage of creation, but a marriage of the new creation which integrates them into the self-giving of Christ.

Marriage in Christian tradition

In the Patristic Period. The early Christian took great care to see that the Christians entered into marriage by choosing partners who were members of the faith community because of the deep meaning that they gave to to Christian understanding of marriage in Christ which we have explained above.Apart from that there were no Christian marriage rituals.They simply got married according to the civil customs and ceremonies of the day.There was little involvement of the clergy and their presence was not required for validity.The only active role of the clergy was the blessing of the spouses, a custom that become widespread without becoming obligatory and without a prescribed formula. In some cases there was a Eucharistic celebration at which the newly wed participated and received the blessing. We have evidence of a nuptial Mass in the Roman Sacraments from 6th century onwards.


In the Middle Ages. From 11th century onwards, due to instability and weakening of civil authority, the Church took over the civil regulations of marriage. Marriage is now conducted in facie ecclesiae
(in the presence of the Church)and the social elements peculiar to earlier secular form were now incorporated
into the marriage liturgy, which had become a liturgical rite conducted by the priest. It is at this time that the Church decides that consent (the Roman juridical element)and the consummation ( the Franco-Germanic personal element) enter  as the constitutive elements of marriage.It is Pope Alexander III who declared consent as the essence of the bond of marriage and that the bond is indissoluble only after consummation.
Hence the concept of marriage ratum et consummatum.


The Council of Trent.The council of Trent in the polemic against the Reformers stressed the sacramental nature of marriage and the power of the Church to regulate marriage. It also sought to combat the evil of clandestene  marriage.It declared that in future the only valid form of marriage for Catholics would be consent declared before a priest and two witnesses. The rite itself become juridical in nature with the focus on consent and ratification of consent by the priest. This form of the rite continued until very recent times.

The teaching of Vatican II.

This represents a change of perspective.Some of the major points are:

There is a shift from the juridical to the more personalistic concept of marriage 'Contract' gives way
to the more biblical 'covenant'. " the intimate partnership (foedus = covenant) of life and the love
which constitutes the married state is rooted in their irrevocable personal consent".

Conjugal love is the concrete essence of Christian marriage,  
 reflecting as it does the covenant love of Christ for his church. " He abides with them in order that by their mutual self-giving spouses will love each other with enduring fidelity, as he loved the Church and delivered
himself for it ".


The terminology of primary and secondary ends is abandoned and the
values of marriage are listed without any hierarchical preference.

The sacramentality of marriage is not something added to the marriage union established through human love. : " Authentic married 
love is taken up into divine love and is ruled and enriched by the redemptive power of Christ and
the salvific action of the Church ".

There is an emphasis on the necessity of faith commitment for the
sacramental of marriage.Marriage is not just between baptized Christians, but between 
Christifideles , faithful Christians.All these elements are reflected in the Introduction to the New Rite of 
Marriage. 

Elements For A Correct Undrestanding Of Christian Marriage. Today

Marriage as part of God's plan.

The religious basis of marriage.. Christian speak of marriage being instituted by God as part of an overall plan
 or design for creation. They are implying that there are some givens which cannot be changed according to human whims of real intention. A religious sense of reality in general insists that people need to be guided in their decisions by the realization of something greater that is present at the heart of the world.They must draw upon the fundamental rhythm of God's creation to keep their sensitivities alive. The human agenda is not the dominant one.


The social basis of marriage.The sense of being part of a greater living whole,the society, is really the background for the Christian insistence that marriage in the Church is not simply an agreement laid down by the mutual consent of the parties involved. The couple chooses to marry in the midst of the community because it is an event that affects the rest of the community as well as their relationship with that community.


The ecclesial basis of marriage. St Paul speaks of Christian marriage as a union between man and woman in Christ. Those who live in Christ through the sacrament of Baptism constitute the Church. Christian social life has its foundation in Baptism. Christian marriage is a special expression of this new life received at Baptism, a sacrament of the Baptismal reality. The self-gift of Christ in his death and resurrection which is sacramentalized in Baptism becomes visible, public and permanent in a personal way in the lives of those who enter into marriage bond. Therefore Christian marry not only in Christ, but in the Church.


Marriage as an authentic expression of love. The underlying principal that becomes permanently operative in every manifestation of Christian life is love. Christians will be known as such by, their love for one another. Christian life consist in translating Divine love into human love. It is necessary to distinguish love from liking.The former is other centered,while the latter is self centered.Since human beings are made according to the image of God, they are complete in their being only when they are related to one another in love by which they reproduce the core of divine life,a life of communion in the diversity of the Three Divine Persons.Every Christian is called to live in communion. Each one responds to his call according to the contribution which they have to make for building up of the kingdom of God.Understood in this  sense marriage is a vocation.The natural attraction which the couples feel towards one another has to be transformed into a response of love. For this it is necessary to free the natural attraction of its  selfish content. Here we have the difference between love and lust.Love is life-giving,while lust is destructive of life. We can distinguish three qualities of love: